Trash or Treasure

I’m starting a new series.  As I am going through and sorting out my belongings I am discovering items I have kept for purely ridiculous and/or irrational reasons.  I’m going to share those items with you and whether I will trash them or treasure them.

The first item I found is from a terrible blind date.  I shall call him Joe mostly because I can’t actually remember his real name.  The date was so bad I’ve seared pieces of it from my mind.  Joe and I agreed to meet at a restaurant.  I waited at the restaurant for about 20 to 30 minutes before the maitre’d asked if I was Junebug.  I said yes and he informed me I had a phone call.  Joe explained his car had broken down and he wondered if I could come pick him up.  I know!  I should have cancelled right then and there but no I took down directions and broke my own strict rules of never going to their place.  I partially agreed because he told me he would come out to my car.  I drove to this seedy neighborhood.  You know the kind.  Run down houses, cars up on blocks, mangy dogs roaming the streets, broken street lights and home of my blind date.  I waited in my idling car with the doors locked until he came out.  We drove back to the restaurant.  He went on to tell me all about his ex-wife, who worked at a fast food restaurant, and their six children.  Yes – six.  How he had done everything for her and she used him. I wondered if she used him or he was just a doormat.  He kept going on and on about how beautiful I was and blah, blah, blah.  Here is the deal.  Once or twice is ok.  400 times in two hours is creepy.  I was done after about 10 minutes but since I was driving I couldn’t do my normal page my bff the code so she could page me and I can fake an emergency bit.  He seemed to be having a grand time.  I decided after dinner to fake an early morning appointment and do my typical tactic to get someone to dislike me.  I stopped at the convenience store on the way to drop him off to pick up cigerattes.  I figured most people don’t want to kiss a girl that smokes so I would stop and get cigs in order to avoid that awkward situation.  I was back in the car smoking waiting for him to get whatever he was getting in the Quick Trip when he came out with his special gift for me.

A rose made out of underwear.

I couldn’t freakin’ believe it!  On a first date!   My smoking didn’t even phase him.  I got him home as quickly as possible smoking the whole time so I wouldn’t have to kiss him.  I then ignored my phone for weeks.  I know.  I am so weak but this guy had some confidence to think I would appreciate a panty rose.  I could not even cope with him.  Why did I keep the rose?  I don’t know.  I kept it in rose form until I opened it for this picture.  Perhaps I wanted to remind myself I wasn’t a completely horrible person because at least one creep once wanted me.


I have the memory of the blind date and I think it will be good enough.