Top 10 Signs You Watch Too Much Reality TV

1.  You pass out red roses to random strangers in the grocery store.

2.  Every Thanksgiving you pick one relative, put out their cigarette and inform them gravely, “The tribe has spoken.”

3.  You will only travel with a backpack and run around shouting, “Excuse me!  I’m in a race. Sorry!”

4.  Your Easter Egg Hunt now includes a swimming pool, big red balls, a sweeper arm and a dizzy dummy.

5.  Every time someone takes your picture, you take the opportunity to smize the camera.

6.  You have not been allowed to host Christmas dinner since the year you challenged yourself to make the meal with three ingredients (spam, Velveeta and marshmallow fluff), a toaster oven and toothpicks.

7.  When you sing karaoke you accost random British men in the audience for not knowing real talent if it smacked them in the face.

8.  Your husband refuses to call your marriage a showmance.

9.  You have been banned from the neighborhood swimming pool and jacuzzi after the 4th of July celebration in ’09 which involved lots of alcohol, a food fight and the inability for you to know the real father of little Johnny who was born 9 months later.

10.  You make all your own clothes often using unusual items such as grass clippings, dog hair and plastic flowers.  When people comment on your outfit  you say, “Oh, it is nothing.  I just make it work.”

21 thoughts on “Top 10 Signs You Watch Too Much Reality TV”

  1. I'll never forget the time I was shoved into a houseful of strangers and the ugliest one turned out to be my cowboy-hat-wearing brother. And the whole world knew before me. Yikes! Worst summer ever!

  2. This is great! I have to admit, I've tried smizing the camera, and I think I look better… :) Is it bad that I understood most of your references???

  3. And here I thought I had a working knowledge of all that is reality TV. I understood all except the Smizing the camera. What is that??

    That is one really, really clever post. OMG, I wish I would of thought of it.

    I am off to talk to hubby about if he is on board with the showmance reference.

  4. Hilarious! Let's see #11 should be, "you can name all of the shows I am referring to in this post!" I am a little stumped by #9, but I am thinking maybe Real World?

  5. Marla – That was an odd twist.

    Alex – You might need an intervention.

    Cheryl – Smizing is from America's Next Top Model. It is smiling with your eyes.

    Stephanie – It is really a combination of all the MTV crapfests. Real World, Rock of Love, Love of RJ, Flavor or Love, Jersey Shore and maybe even some of the Housewives on Bravo. :-)

  6. Hehe! Great list and yes, I'm ashamed to admit I understood just about all of them. Too much reality tv? ;o) How about you lovingly smile, welcome and kiss all the gals arriving for a girl's night out…all the while looking for a "private" camera to say what ya really think about A's dress, B's new boob job and C's marriage?(as if they aren't gonna watch it later and see what a two faced moron you are?)

  7. Ha! Great post. I watch way too much reality TV and recognize most of these shows.

    Thanks for making me laugh!

  8. "Smizing…" Smiling with your eyes. I feel hipper already. What a clever, fun, funny post.

    Although, now I'm worried that you might need an intervention. Not to worry, I'll be around with Dr. Drew shortly. 😉

  9. I was addicted for a whole year. Now I cringe if I hear the words "Tyra mail". What was I thinking? I am a recovering reality tv addict and my name is Linda.

  10. haha! Is it a good thing or a bad thing that I understood the relevance of all of the points except for the one about "making it work"?!!!

  11. Oh that was fabulous! LOL And like everyone else, I got all the references too. LOL We need a therapy group LOL

  12. LOL!!!! Loved this post… I understood about 1/2 of your references….I'm no longer a reality show junkie….Thanks for stopping by my blog…

  13. I am crying laughing at this blog post. CRYING laughing. AHAhahahhahaHHAHhahHHaha!

    Facebooking & Tweeting this one!

  14. So glad that you are taking the 31 day challenge with me! Part of the reason I love leading the group so much is I just love meeting new ladies and reading their wonderful stories! loving your list post! reality tv what a hoot!
    waving, your hostess,
    Shelley :)

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