The other day in strollercize class our awesome instructor asked up to share what we love about motherhood. Most the moms said lovely things like the cuddles, the bond, the sweet smiles or the unconditional love. Being the sentimental type, I said I love sleepless nights and poopy diapers. Granted it did make everyone laugh which is my defense mechanism to keep everyone from knowing I have a heart hidden deep inside my puffy body but I meant it. I have sentimental reasons behind my choices.
I love sleepless nights because my daughter was not a big cuddler. My dreams of having a baby I could cuddle up with and read books with was not exactly what I got. However, in the middle of the night when my daughter wakes up crying out in need of comfort – she becomes a cuddler. As soon as I lift her into my arms, she cuddles into my chest and goes right back to sleep. My heart bursts in to a thousand little pieces. I lay down with her and cuddle for as long as I can stay awake. It is worth missing sleep to have these special moments. As time has gone on, she has become more and more of a cuddler especially since her seizure. I still love our little mid-night cuddle sessions.
What possible reason could I have for loving poopy diapers? I know you have been racking your brain trying to find a reasonable explanation. Well, forget about it! I’m not reasonable. My reason is two-fold. Almost all of us will start our lives in diapers and end them in diapers if we are lucky to live that long. Every time I clean up a poopy diaper, I am reminded that right now at this slice of time I have this amazing little creature completely dependent on me. She may have rough days where she yells at me, cries, hits and throws things but she is still going to need me to wipe her ass. As much as she thinks otherwise, I prove she needs me and I will always be there to help her with every diaper change. I’m reminded life is very short. It is a constant reminder I need to take care of myself. If I want to be there for her for as long as possible, I need to make sure the amount of time before I need someone to wipe my own ass is as far in the future as possible. Once she is out of diapers I want to be there for dancing, for running, for graduations, for travel adventures, for grandchildren, for every little moment she will need me I want to be there. I can only achieve this goal by taking care of myself. I’m not selfish when I take time every day to workout. I’m giving a tiny morsel of our time together today so I can add days to our time together. Our journey as mother and daughter started with poopy diapers and with any luck it will end 70+ years from now when I find myself over 100 years old and being highlighted on the morning TV show while campaigning for my nursing home to use cloth diapers on me when my bladder eventually gives up the ghost. I have big plans for my elderly phase.
What are your favorite parts of motherhood? Or your favorite moments with your own mother?