There is no way to lead up to saying your daughter ate her own shit that doesn’t leave you feeling like the reject mom of the year. I had to go to the ladies room. She was happily watching TV. I return to find a naked baby with shit covered hands. She had rubbed it all over the TV cabinet. There was a piece by her mouth. I can’t say for sure she ate any but a couple of weeks ago I pulled someone’s discarded ear plug out of her mouth when we were at the park. The chick will put anything and everything in her mouth. She got a bath, mouth wash and I scrubbed the living room three times with two different cleaners. I still want to vomit when I think about it. Normally this wouldn’t have happened. Often she is in the bathroom with me. Sometimes sitting on my lap. I’m not sure at what point I inform her sitting on the lap of someone on the toilet is a violation of personal space but right now Honey Badger don’t care. She follows me in and shuts the door behind her then wanders over to annoy me while I try to do my business.
A couple of weeks ago, I woke up to find one of my dogs had diarrhea across two rooms. I cleaned it up and we left. I returned to find another room with a huge circle of dog shit. Does anyone else have a dog who has to walk while he is talking a poo? Othello squats and starts to poo and slowly starts walking in the hunched up position. It is maddening especially when he is having an accident all across the room.
Do you believe in the power of 3? You know – things come in 3′s. I don’t even want to know what kind of shit is headed my way next. This morning my daughter did her #2 on the toilet and said she was done. I stood her beside the toilet while I cleaned up and she proceeded to pee all over the floor. I don’t think it counts as #3. It counts as a toilet is half full kind of day but not as a 3rd shitty experience.
I feel exactly like Bob Saget in Dumb and Dumberer. Warning: Language is used in this clip.
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My kid ate dog poop off the bottom of his shoe once. Fortunately, he has a strong digestion.
Oh no! So sorry you had to deal with all that crap. I probably would have bathed my kid in bleach and just poured it all over the carpet. Yucky!
Hope there are no more poopy days like that for you. Have a great weekend.
Hannah recently posted..A Spring Day in January
Oh my. You poor thing. Poop storm. And yes, my dog likes to walk and poop sometimes. It’s like following the trail of gingerbread expect not quite as yummy.
jen recently posted..A New Day
Oh dear Junebug, the joys of Motherhood………. The only saving grace is that when they are older you can remind of these things……….. especially in front of their friends, or is that just to wicked?
June,
I am so sorry, but I cannot stop laughing. OMG. I feel so badly for you and yet, I am doubled over in hysterics.
“I’m not sure at what point I inform her sitting on the lap of someone on the toilet is a violation of personal space but right now Honey Badger don’t care.”
BAhahHAhHAH
Also, if it makes you feel any better, when I was two & a half years old, my mother came home from the hospital with my baby brother and I was NOT a fan of all the attention he was getting, so I smeared my shit all over his bedroom. To this day, my mom still hates me!
“You know – things come in 3′s. I don’t even want to know what kind of shit is headed my way next.”
Oh, I hope the bad things that come in threes DO NOT include SHIT.
meleah rebeccah recently posted..The Reason Why – I Am The Queen of TMI
One of my cousins used to have to be put down for her naps as a baby with a half roll of masking tape wrapped around her middle. Otherwise she would pull it off and smear the contents on the painted paneling (with grooves) in her bedroom.
My Half Assed Life recently posted..Mother Effing PMS Party.
Disposable diapers are the worst!! My daughter can take them right off. I have to either put her in cloth diapers or she has to wear pants over the disposable. I can totally understand the need to tape it on. Gross!
So sorry to say but I made my hubs pause his tv show while I read this post. So sorry to hear about your poop-a-thon. At least this is bribery for getting her to do things when she is a teen because you can threaten to tell her boyfriend, friends, post it on twitter should she not obey
I am keeping a pile of documentation for all kinds of blackmail opportunities in the future. She may never date. LOL