10 on Tuesday – Alien Guests

This week I’ve chosen the topic “How to prepare for guests from Outer Space”.  We were watching Battlefield LA and halfway through I turned to hubby, “Honey, do you think we are alone?  I mean do you believe there are others out there in space?”  Hubby, ever the pragmatist, said, “I don’t know.”  But I couldn’t stop thinking about it.  What if there are others out there?  How the hell would I prepare for them to come and visit at our house?  I usually attempt to be all Martha for my guests but if they don’t know who Martha is then how am I supposed to be Martha for them?  I needed some rules.

1.  Lock up the pets.  I decided the first thing I should do is put the dogs in my bedroom.  I’m not sure whether they would eat them or be scared of them so it best to keep them put up.

2.  Figure out what they would like to drink.  If I gave them water would they melt like the Wicked Witch of the West?  Unless they like water, coffee or tea they will be out of luck because those are the only liquids I keep around.

3.  Offer several places for them to sleep.  Where would they sleep?  Would they be more comfortable in the spare bed or on the back porch where they would see the stars and smell the air?  Perhaps they would like the tent in the backyard.   Be sure to pick up your dog poo before setting up the tent.  It can either be thrown away or set aside in case it is a substance they will want to eat.

4.  Offer several food options (except the dogs).  Since my pantry currently only holds lentils, quinoa and a can of yams, I might be completely screwed on this account unless they like the dog poo.  I’m hoping they like the dog poo because they will not eat my dogs and it solves a disposal problem for me.

5.  Don’t shake their hand unless they offer their hand/tentacle/paw/metal arm first.  You never know whether it would be an insult to touch them or if they would accept it as you offering your hand to be eaten.  It is best to be safe.  Simply follow their lead.  If they try to hip bump you – go for it.  If they lean forward opening their mouth so large as to fit your entire head inside – back up and grab the bat you keep hidden behind the door. This won’t be pretty.

6.  Determine where they will go the bathroom.  Show them the bathroom and the backyard.  It would be cool if they emptied themselves like I empty the vacuum cleaner.  I take off the full container and empty it in the dumpster.  Simple, clean and no wasting toilet paper.  I should get some extra Go Girls in case they would come in handy for them.  PS – I finally got around to trying out my Go Girl which I will be putting the review up soon.

7.  Hide any offending movies.  I’m sure we have quite a few movies that aliens would not enjoy.  Shall I suggest to hide Battlefield LA, Independence Day, Storm Troopers(mostly because it is crap), Space Cowboys, Killer Clowns from Outer Space and Aliens.  They might enjoy Star Trek or even Robin Hood Men in Tights (honestly who doesn’t find that movie funny?).

8.  Take shifts sleeping.  Either you or your hubby should be wake at all times.  Keep the bedroom door locked.  While you want to appear open and welcoming to your guests, you don’t want your guests think it will be ok to eat you while your guard is down.  Think about it as a good time to put to use those fur covered handcuffs that have been gathering dust since the honeymoon if the aliens get out of control.

9.   Be leery of introducing them to your neighbors.  The last thing you need is to pile up in your car, break through the road block and rush down the street in an effort to keep your guests from coming to harm.  If you get a chance and feel the neighbors are about to go off on your guests, take a chance to steal all their pitchforks.  It will save you time in the long run.

10.  Smile.  Keep trying different options.  Maybe they like to drink lilac scented lotion or there is a use for your leftover candle nobs.  In addition, take lots of pictures because if they leave suddenly you will want  proof of the adventure.  Plus, you may need evidence so they don’t cart you off to the loony bin.

What do you think I missed?  Any other areas of concern I should consider before any alien guests arrive?

10 on Tuesday

In honor of spending the entire weekend working on adoption paperwork, I have made my 10 on Tuesday a list of a few of the questions from my homestudy profile questionnaire.  I’m answering these questions here the way I really wanted to answer them.  I did not answer the actual questions this way because I would like to adopt a child and not get thrown in prison or the nutty house.

1.  Describe your strengths and weaknesses.
Strength – I can bench about 120.
Weaknesses – Chocolate and crappy reality TV shows like Hoarders and The Bachelorette.

2.  What is your religious background and current involvement?
Hare Krishna.  I have the airport flower shift on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and every other Saturday.

3.  When/how/where did you and your spouse meet?
Jello shot night at his frat house Oct. 1990.  The rest of the details are fuzzy because I was completely wasted.

4.  Describe any changes you would like to make in your marital relationship to make it better?
I want to be Mormon.  I could really use another sister wife or two around here.  I would think hubby would enjoy another wife or two as well.  Perhaps I spoil him too much.

5.  Describe your house (size, square footage, number of bedrooms & bathrooms) and property size.
I live in a van down by the river.

6.  How do you divide family responsibilities ie wage earnings, household jobs, child care?
He brings home the bacon and I fry it up in a pan for him.

7.  What are your areas of disagreement?  How do you settle disagreements?
See question 6.
Mud wrestling.  Occasionally jello wrestling but I like the exfoliation from the mud.

8.  What experience, if any, have you had with children?
I watch the Cartoon Network.   Children are always in the audience when I attend a Pixar movie.  Occasionally I walk past the playground and stare until the officer asks me to move along.  Apparently people don’t like you to stare and take pictures of their children.

9.  Have you ever received any personal or family counseling?  Please explain.
I’m an orphan.  My sister died, I’ve miscarried and I’ve been going through infertility for nine years.  What the hell do you think?

10.  In your own words, please briefly describe your thoughts regarding the decision your child’s birth-parents are making in regard to an adoption plan.
What a stupid question!  If they pick me, then I totally agree with their adoption plan.  If they don’t pick me, I don’t like it all that much.  Duh!

10 on Tuesday

1.  Yesterday I got up at 4:30 to go workout, promptly fell over my dog, landed with all my weight on my left knee, cried and caterwauled for about an hour and drowned my sorrow in some ibuprofen.  Yeah, I’m looking forward to this week.  It can only go up from here right?

2.  My dog’s name is Othello.  Do you think he is finally living up to his namesake and attempting to murder the one he loves?

3.  We are working on our family profile book for the adoption.  Anyone have advice?  I’m really not loving this project as much as I was hoping I would.  It is all just a reminder of what I will never have (the usual right of passages into motherhood) and the hoops of fire I am forced to endure.  Sigh.  Best sites for profile views?  Best formats?

4.  Remember a few weeks ago I showed you the construction dumpster on the building site beside our home.  Well, this is what I found last week.  I’m wondering if there was something thrown in the dumpster that caused the fall out and if so this is really scary.  What would erode the dumpster?  Is it in the ground now?  I’m actually kind of scared of this thing now.  Perhaps a grammar nazi took their anger out on the dumpster.

Week 1 
Week 2

5.    I’m kind of dull because I have been working hard behind the scenes on moving to WordPress.  I’ve, also, been writing about it in a post aptly titled “The Ass Backwards way of moving from Blogger to WordPress”.  Yeah – it is going that well.  

6.  Ever wonder why I don’t have short hair.  I know you have.  Don’t lie.  Here is why:

Can you imagine if I had a head full of these tight little Nellie curls all over my head?  With humidity?   My best friend has told me, “Girl!  You have ethnic hair.  Someone in your family must have had a romp in the wood pile.”  I’m still looking for the possible romp in my genealogy studies.

7.  I love popcorn.  Air popped with nacho cheese or caramel flavorings.  That is all.  Advertisement over back to the list.

8.  A couple of days ago I let the dogs out only to discover three little frogs had hopped on to our porch in the night since someone (who shall remain nameless) left the screen door open.  I thought they were cute but it took a great part of finesse and chicken treats to keep my dogs from making new frienemies.  I left the door open so they could hop back out.  I was quite sad to discover a few hours later this had been a mass suicide attempt and they were all dead.  Why would three frogs hop to my porch to die?  It makes me nervous.  There has to be a story somewhere that says the rapture will happen after three frogs die on Junebug’s porch.

9.  I was amused by the placement.  Even more evidence of a sign of the apocalypse?  The triangle of frog suicide.  Or a love triangle gone wrong.  

10.  Getting my hair colored today.  Ta Ta!

10 on Tuesday

1.  My husband informed me this weekend that “Teamwork is about a man and woman working together to accomplish something the woman wants done.”  I have trained him well.  Sniff.  Back off ladies – all mine.

2.  During this 31 Days to a better Blogger program, I am supposed to know my niche.  What niche does my blog fall into?  I have no idea.  Obviously not a mommy blogger.  Not a design blogger.  I feel like if I say I’m a humor blogger that is being a bit presumptive.   Ideas?  Bug blogger?  Lifestyle blogger?  Monkey can type blogger?

3.  When we get up at 4:30 AM to go workout our dogs take our spots in bed, growl and glare at us through half open eyes as if saying, “Shut out the damn lights!  Normal owners don’t get up at 4:30 AM.  Get back in time to feed us.”

4.  Our neighborhood is set up old Savannah style.  Our houses all face public squares.  My square happens to hold the pool, playground, dog park, rec/gym center and sand volleyball courts.  The next square over is a fully stocked fishing pond.  A while back two little white ducks took up residence.  It is fun to watch for them.  Once I watch a little bitty girl pelting them with bread.  It was so freakin’ adorable.  We laughed so hard.  It looked like she was saying, “Take that you stupid ducks.” They just calmly ate all the bread bouncing around.  A couple of days ago I caught them taking a rest.  How sweet are they?

5.  So I do this iphone running application called Couch to 5K.  I can play my regular shuffle of workout songs and this woman just breaks in to say “Walk Now” or “Run Now”.  Yesterday, the first “Run Now” came right after Mary Chapin Carpenter sang “I feel lucky.” and the last “Run Now” came right before Cee Lo’s “F*** You”.  I’m beginning to believe there is something more to this smart phone thing then they are telling us.

6.  Speaking of running, I am looking for a 5K in the SE during July/August.  I can hardly find anything.  Any runners out there want to share where you find your races.  On-line, in the gym, facebook?

7.  Well, I lost the contest for press tickets to the Decatur Book Festival.  Sadly I lost by quite a bit.  There were only a few entries and I lost by more than 10 comments.  Thank you to all who commented so I didn’t lose by 40.  I appreciate your support.

8.  On my run this morning I couldn’t help snap a shot of these trees.  I couldn’t decide if they were giving the world the finger or if one of them was having a bad hair day.

9.  For those that watch The Bachelorette:  I think what she did last night was cruel.  She sent home the widow.  I get sending him home if there is no chemistry but to make it so he was the only one sent home?  That was mean.  She deserves any bad karma that comes her way.  I was already wavering on her because of the moaning and groaning about the a** Bentley but that act put me over the edge.  I’m over her.

10.  On the positive side:  I love Extreme Makeover:Weight Loss!  For a person to do it in their home is the perfect solution.  I just loved this guy last night.  It is so hard to lose weight!  This proves it.  I’m glad I got up at 6 am to go for my morning run.  It is worth it.

10 on Tuesday

1.  Welcome to 10 on Tuesday!  It is a linky party.  Most people write 10 items that just came to them or happened to them during the week or you make a 10 list about places to go, people you did, your neighbor’s annoying habits or anything you want.  Join in.

2.  My neighbor is going for a record in the world’s tallest weed competition.

Note:  He must have given up because he mowed it down this weekend.  Hubby freaked out on me.  Did he see you?  I can’t believe you took a picture!

3.  I won a Don’t Speak Whinese! t-shirt from Don’t Speak Whinese.  So exciting!

4.  Any lawn experts out there?  I have some patches in my backyard that look like this..

What the hell is that?  In my mind there are two options.  1.  It is an example that I have black gold in my backyard and will soon it will come bubbling up and I will be headed to Beverly Hills to get myself a cement pond.  2.  It is a creature from outer space that will inhabit my mind and eat me from the inside until it pops out of my belly button leaving behind my empty corpse.  Not even the Dr. will be able to save me.

5.  I am calling to set up our Home Study this week.  Ugh!  What a horrible process!  Anyone else want to pay $1,500 to have every crevice of your life examined with a pair tweezers and spotlight?  No?  Chickens!  My bff assures me I will forget all this crap when I’m holding my baby.  If she is wrong I will have one less bff.

6.  I’m still working the ProBlogger program.  Thank you to everyone who voted on my blog name.  The winner is….none of the above.  I know it seems like I asked your opinion and then kicked you in the teeth.  In reality Just Junebug was not available on Twitter.  I want to be able to change and have all the fb, twitter and url.  So I have decided to go with ?????!  I’ll let you know soon.  Promise.

7.  I’m not sure exactly what the builders are trying to say.   I think it was supposed to be No Household Trash Hauled.  Of course, their native language is not English.  I’m not stereotyping.  I can hear the conversations and music that seep through my walls.  Plus, when I wave as I go out to get the mail, they say, “Hola”.  In the end, I’ve decided it was language and space.  There was not enough room for household so they went with house.  Can people be blamed if they put a house in the trash?  

8.  I’ve started the Couch to 5k program on my iphone.  It is pretty cool.  I was a bit disturbed though.  You can play your own music and a woman will pop in and say, “Walk now” or “Run now”.  The first time she said, “Run Now” I got this jolt of andreniline.   Oh shit!  I got to run.  I did find it very funny while I was listening to Cee Lo’s F— You that she broke in “Run Now”.  I guess she didn’t get the hint.

9.  I can’t believe I have allowed myself to get pulled into the darn crapfest that is The Bachelorette.  My favorite quote this week was when a guy was talking about having some thoughts in his head, “It is all up in here.  I guess I need to go poop it out.”  Classy dude!  You’re single?  I can’t believe someone hasn’t snapped your hot mess up.

10.  As I’m working my way through my mom’s clippings in the recipe cabinet I found this little gem.  It is not a recipe but from a magazine that was in there.  Anyone want a living wall to separate some rooms?  Here is your solution.  Don’t say I never helped you!

Share what your 10.

10 on Tuesday

Sometimes you just have to jump in, lay down and get dirty.  Get your mind out of the gutter!  I’m talking about joining in the 10 on Tuesday hop!

1.  Welcome to 10 on Tuesday.  Make your own list and link up!  Don’t stress. It isn’t that hard.  If you can’t think of too many, why not start listing places you plan to go this summer (even if they are only in your mind).  I’m getting restless to take a vacation and wouldn’t mind hearing where others are going or want to go.

2.  Hubby decided to make his 4 day weekend a 5 day weekend.  So we are heading back to Fort Pulaski to hike this morning and then on to Tybee Island for Crab Shack for lunch.  I would say I was spoiled but I bet you didn’t have to walk for 90+ minutes to get your hubby to take you to lunch.

3.  We took the dogs out to Fort Pulaski yesterday so they could play in the ocean water.  Their first ocean experience.  I was laughing so hard.  Hubby took Othello in and then was shouting for me to come get Othello because hubby was stuck in mud up to his knees.  I had to take pictures first while laughing hysterically.  I’m sure the guy sitting there fishing a little ways down was amused.

Hubby struggling.  Note at this point no one is actually holding Othello’s leash.

4.  In a related note, my backseat can now double as a sandbox.  I had no idea how much sand a lab can carry around when he doesn’t even have pockets.  He was still covered as I was giving him a bath later.  There has got to be a way for me to make some money on this knowledge.

5.  Really annoyed with how many people think I need to enlarge my manhood lately!  Really?  Is that because I don’t have any?  I’m not supposed to you idiots!  I, also, don’t want any replica watches, to help with your extremely large money transfer or chat with you.  I’m not really as pretty as the picture you think you saw or as nice as my profile led you to believe.  Internet spam sucks but real spam isn’t too bad.

6.  I’ve extended my poll on changing my blog name.  Up to the right there.  Partly because Blogger has been having multiple issues lately and partly due to voter apathy(I jest).  I don’t know why I’m struggling.  I like Junebug’s Musings but Just Junebug seems simpler.

7.  I always thought the Sara Lee jingle/catch phrase was “Nobody does it like Sara Lee”.  However, yesterday I passed one of her trucks on the interstate and it read “Nobody doesn’t like Sara Lee”.  What?  This is the whole Kenny Rogers’ Lucille and her four hundred children all over again.  The song is “four hungry children” but it sounds like “four hundred children”.  Back to Sara Lee, am I that dumb?  I feel that what I thought sounds better than the actually phrase.  Does anyone else think like me?

8.  I found a new guilty pleasure show, My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding.  Wow!  This is how I imagined the world would be if teenagers ruled.  Lots of bad dancing, skanky clothes and big gowns.

My view from my table as we ate at the Crazy Crab on Hilton Head Island Friday.  Yummy food!

9.  So far we went from decided not to put in a patio due to cost to not getting new patio furniture due to cost to currently looking for a good treadmill.  Taking bets on whether we give up on this dream, also, due to cost.  Bonus points if you can think of what we will dream of next to put off due to cost.

10.  I have decided to join in on The SITS Girls program, 31 Days to Build a Better Blog.  I figure as I am migrating over to wp and getting all serious about doing this blogging thing (The first 4.5 years were just for shits and giggles.) I might as well learn as much as I can.  By my 5th anniversary in August I should up and running with a new and improved fabulous blog.  I hope y’all will still love me.  I still love you.

How to Blog

10 on Tuesday

Welcome to 10 on Tuesday Blog Hop!  All started by the mean ipad gloaterfabulous, Marla!  Please write up your own 10 list and hook up to the linky.

1.  I’m taking a poll.  As I consider switching to WordPress, I’m considering changing my name to Xena Warrior princess.  Ok.  Not really.  Although I once knew a girl who legally changed her name to Xena from Rachel.  That little princess had quite a chip on her shoulder.  Anyway, I’m really considering whether to stick with Junebug’s Musings or change to Just Junebug.  Whatcha’ think?

2.  I was wondering if when a cop is speeding down the road and sees another cop does he automatically hit the brakes and think “Oh, shit, a cop.  Wait!  I am a cop.”  Then he speeds back up.  Or does he just not care.

3.  I have a curiosity problem.  Growing up I annoyed everyone.  Thank goodness I had 14 aunts and uncles because I could equal annoy them all with my “but why”, “how come” and “who says”.  My family developed several strategies beyond the usual “go outside and play” and my favorite, the frustrated spanking.  One was “Why?  Are you writing a book?”  Being a smarty pants I would say, “Yes.”  Coming from smarty pants they said, “Well, leave that part out and make it a mystery.”  This frustrated me to no end!   My repeated “Who? Who? Who?” was answered with “What are you? An owl?  Do you sit on branches and shit through feathers?”   I haven’t changed much from the time I was 3 and my aunt dubbed me ‘the one whose tongue is loose at both ends’. 

4.  There was a service you could sign up for if the Rapture came.  Basically you paid people to take care of your pets after you were gone.  Some thoughts I had one this.  1.  Do you think you would really care about your pets if Jesus was giving you the grand tour of heaven?  2.  I’m too cheap.  I’ll stay home and take care of them myself.  3.  If I think I’m going and need to sign up for this service wouldn’t that be committing the sin of pride and consequently negating my needing a pet sitter in the first place.  4.  How do I know they will care for my pets and it won’t be like the stories of the people in San Diego.  On our ghost tour we learned of this epidemic a long time ago.  So many people were sick they had to pay people to take patients into their homes.  They paid by the patient so the more patients the more money.  The house we were in the woman had packed it to the gills with dying patients.  Supposedly there are lots of ghosts there now.  How do I know they will care for my pet?

5.  I could’ve sworn the Rapture was coming after spotting Saphron sharing the same space with her mortal enemy without barking Saturday morning.  The way Othello runs from the vacuum you would think it was the one who neutered him.  

6.  I’m getting really annoyed!!!  I have a couple of blogs that I subscribe to their RSS feeds and I’m trying to unsubscribe to but they keep coming back like a dead beat boyfriend.  What the hell?  I’ve tried doing it on google reader and in blogger.  It won’t work.  Anyone else have this problem? 

7.  Ever feel like the loser in your family?  Watch Judge Judy.  Guaranteed to boost yourself esteem unless you are on that episode and in that case you’re screwed!  This has been your daily therapy session.  You’re welcome.  Send all checks to Junebug.  I don’t take insurance. 

8.  I may have a competitive problem.  My cousin just started on Twitter already has almost as many followers as me.  This is unacceptable.  If you Tweet and we aren’t yet following each other, I have that handy little button up to the right under my header.  Lets meet up on Twitter and ultimately smash my cousin’s numbers.  #whyIwasn’ttakenintherapture

9.  I love that if I spill dog food all over the food I don’t have to clean anything up.  Othello will take care of it for me. It is either him or the gnome.  I don’t care as long as it isn’t me.

10.  After all the protests in town this weekend, I kept wondering.  If you protest hate with an equal amount of hate, isn’t the only thing being produced is more hate?  I’m just saying.

Bonus:  This past week I lost one of my Great Aunts.  She was 85 and a very sweet woman.  I’m wishing I could be with my family this morning as they celebrate her long beautiful life.   Sending prayers up for her and for the grandpa of one of my besties. 

10 on Tuesday – Updated!

 If you want to join in the fun that is 10 on Tuesday hop over to The Chronicles of Marla.  Big news!   After this week to join in the 10 on Tuesday blog hop you only have to pop in here.  That is right.  Marla is making a big announcement on Monday (I already know…nanny, nanny, boo, boo) and because she will be needing some time I will be taking over the reigns for awhile.  So start thinking/writing now bleeps!  I am hoping to start with at least 5 people playing along next Tuesday.  Remember I will hunt you down.  I have the power of reaching through people’s computers and melting their brains so I would pay attention.  I just need to make up a name for my power because it is really wordy.    Computation liquidation?  Viriusitis?  Whatever name I come up with I’m going to use it on Marla after showing off her beach view right now while on vacation.  I was uber-jealous until I remembered that I actually live 30 minutes from two popular beaches and could spend every day there if I wanted.  I feel better now. 

1.  That horrid lawyer…err…church group that likes to protest is going to be protesting many of the churches in my town next Sunday including my church.  We were given instructions on how not to feed the animals and simply call 911 if anyone violates our personal space.  I still stand by their right to be vile human beings.  Freedom isn’t free.  Sometimes we have to ignore the others when they are expressing their free speech even when we don’t agree with an ounce of it.  Personally I find it easier to walk through a group of people acting the fools than to be stuck at a light next to a car expressing their freedom of music so loudly my teeth rattle inside my car two lanes over.  People who truly believe in freedom sacrifice daily in their freedoms so others can enjoy the privilege.  This space is where I get to do my expressing.

2.  Ashton to replace Hot Mess Sheen?  Are you kidding me?  Didn’t watch it before and still won’t watch it.

3.  It makes me crazy thinking about keeping a show like that on when others that are good don’t even get a chance.  Latest causalities:  Better With You (ABC), Breaking In (Fox), Brothers & Sisters (ABC), The Cape (NBC), Chaos (CBS), Chase (NBC), The Chicago Code  (Fox), The Defenders (CBS), Detroit 1-8-7 (ABC), The Event (NBC), Friday Night Lights (NBC), The Good Guys (Fox), Human Target (Fox), Law & Order: Los Angeles (NBC), Lie to Me (Fox), Life Unexpected (CW), Live to Dance (CBS), Mad Love (CBS), Mr. Sunshine (ABC), No Ordinary Family (ABC), Off the Map (ABC), Outsourced (NBC), Perfect Couples (NBC), Running Wilde (Fox), $#*! My Dad Says (CBS), Traffic Light (Fox), V (ABC).  Were any of these your one of your favorites?  I expect to hear on CSI:NY any day but the season finale left it so it could really go either way.  Be change for the fall so far is the moving of Chuck to Fridays.  I usually hate big changes like that but I really like this one.  I’ve already started looking over the new Fall shows and can’t wait to write my Fall TV post.

UPDATE:  CSI:NY was just renewed!  However, adding to the causality list, Criminal Minds: Suspect Behavior. 

4.  This weekend I learned that Rugby and Lacrosse are not the same sport.  Odd gap in my knowledge considering I went on vacation with a rugby team twice.  That sounds worse written out.  A friend of mine was friends with some guys on a rugby team.  They took a vacation every year together with friends to Breckenridge, CO.  We rented condos, spent the day in nature and the night getting wasted.  Good times.  However, I only drank with them so I never actually saw a game.  While at the gym Sunday I was watching the NCAA Lacrosse championships.  A game where men (and women) run around beating each other with sticks?  Awesome!!!!   I kept giggling every time one of the guys got the ball in this little stick basket and the others starting whacking on him.  So freakin’ funny.  I wish I had known about this before because I so would have had my ex-boyfriends impress me by playing Lacrosse.  On days we were fighting I wouldn’t miss a game so I could watch him get whacked with a stick for awhile. 

5.  My cousin and I just discovered me missed the deadline to turn in our applications for the Amazing Race by about four months.  Crap!  We have to wait until the next one.

6.  My mother-in-law made me cry this weekend in a good way for once.  I’m not really talking about the adoption with anyone but hubby told his mommy which means his whole family knows.  Thank God they don’t talk to me so I don’t  have to worry about answering any questions.  Sunday she asked him about it and said she was getting anxious for it to happen.  What?  I really was worried about how she was going to react about the adoption.  She is very family oriented to blood family.  I get Happy B-day Daughter-In-Law cards.  I didn’t even know they made those.  In my family, we would only give that one to the one we didn’t like.  Funny cards are the norm in my family.  So I wasn’t sure if she would be open to our adopted child.  It brought tears to my eyes that she is thinking about it and even looking forward to it.  I’m crying even typing this I’m so happy.  Now, if I could only make that last $12,000 appear in my bank account it would be happening ASAP.  Sigh.  A little while longer.

7.   I have decided that the people who tweet or fb “Thanks for all the b-day wishes!” are really just fishing for more people to tell them Happy B-day.  I’m cynical that way.

8.  So my laptop isn’t technically dead only the screen.  Hubby hooked my computer to the TV and I can work with a giant monitor instead.  Only problem – I’m sitting in front of the TV like I was 5 years old again trying to listen to the Saturday morning cartoons without waking anyone up.  Hubby looked at me and shook his head.  “You know, if your computer would only work with you sitting on your head and a monkey whacking you with a stick all we would hear is click, click, whack, whack, ouch, click, click, whack, whack, ouch.”  So true.  I’m glad a monkey isn’t hitting me with a stick but ouch my butt hurts sitting on the floor.

9.  Arnold “I’ll be back.”
Maria “Hasta La Vista, Baby.”
That is how the conversation went down in my head.

10.  I am spending the week researching my possible move to Word Press.  So far the drawbacks are that it will cost money, take time and energy to learn, leaving behind my awesome Bright Sunshine Designs by Mary and I truly do love Blogger.  Blogger has been good to me.  However, I love the ease of conversation within the comments of WP that I can’t seem to get from Blogger.  I can put disqus on here but I have heard nothing but problems from that endeavor.  Would you still follow me on WP or spit on my name and throw darts at my face?  Thoughts?  Suggestions?  Are you designer in WP that specializes in these kind of special moves?

10 on Tuesday

1.  Junebug, where the hell have you been?  Awe.  Shucks bleeps.  Thanks for the emails of concern.  It is great to feel loved.  I just needed a break so I took it.  It is one of my bad months so I’m working through it and trying to super glue a smile on. 

2.  Just got back from the chiropractor.  I have a hostile uterus because my pelvis is twisted and my back looks like this  \/\/\ if you tilt your head to the right and look.  Not good.  I’m at the very beginning of arthritis.  Fab-o!  Guess where I will be four days a week for awhile. At least I have every reason for being hostile.

3.  I think my laptop just died again.  The screen just looks like a black and white Scottish tartan pattern.  It has either gone patriotic to the home land or caught a virus. 

4.  Speaking of Scottish – our friends came in town for the Savannah Scottish Highland Festival this past weekend.   A good time was had by all.  Although one woman’s mini kilt left little to the imagination and put herself firmly in the category of things I can’t unsee. 

A little bit of caber throwing.  Love a man in a kilt.  
5.  Got my first Home Owners Association covenant violation letter.   I went ballistic!  Because my pine straw isn’t fresh enough.  It is dead grass!  Of course, it is isn’t fresh butt wipes!  As we were driving to the Depot for some pine straw I was going all judgmental.   That house looks like crap.  I hope they got a letter.  Their yard is crappier.  Hope they got a letter.  When we got home the neighbor was, also, putting out new pine straw.  Hubby, “Didn’t happen to get a letter did ya?”  Neighbor, “Yep, guess it wasn’t fresh enough.”  That made me feel a ton better.  I’m not being picked on or going down alone.  We looked just like everyone on our block and they all got letters.  Hubby, “We pay them tons of money to come back out and slap our hands.”  So true.  I loathe HOAs but I appreciate their purpose.  My next  house will not have one though because I’m not stupid.  
6.  Talking of going ballistic I was working on my genealogy this week and discovered I come from a long line of Quakers.  You would think this would mean I would be a more connected and calm person.  However, after reading about one ancestor getting in trouble for courting a woman whom another man had permission to court, read his letter discussing his sin of lust, and then he ran back out and married the woman causing his expulsion.  Another ancestor got in trouble for getting a woman pregnant but married another.  Well, I realized I come from a long line of law resisters.  It appears my ancestors would have kept the gossip mongers going for awhile.  
7.    I love the walk down to the Savannah Riverfront.  The bad part is the when the first Friday fireworks finally started my friend and I were in one of the hotels pretending to be guests so we could use their bathroom.  We ran out and down the street but by the time we got back to the riverfront the fireworks were over.  Her husband sent a nice text of the fireworks.  They couldn’t believe we missed them.  Neither could we. 
8.  I am so hungry.  That is all. 
9.  Tonight is my last yoga class.  I’m so sad but I got the six week course for $25 on Groupon.  The class usually costs $96.  Too high for my blood right now. 
10.  I’m off to change for class.  I am going to try to get back to my regular posting schedule.  I can’t believe my laptop died again!  This old desktop is so slow. 

Perfecting 10 on Tuesday

Join in the 10 on Tuesday fun with The Chronicles of Marla.  All the cool kids are doing it.

1.  Phrontistery – This means a thinking place.  Welcome to my phrontistery.  It would be cool if my phrontistery was located in Hawaii or Costa Rica.  Sadly it resides under a mop of frizzy curly hair in the South.

2.  Pariah – I often feel like a pariah.  I’ve never really felt like a member of the cool kids group.  Sometimes I worry that something I type on my blog will make me a pariah.  Please love me!   I need the validation.

3.  Pimples – Pimples are supposed to be for teens.  I rarely had any when I was young.  Now, they are a daily occurrence.  Life is unfair.  Why couldn’t I be fat as a teen and skinny as an adult?  That seems like a better trade off.

3.  Pachyglossal – Thick-tongued.  What?  Does that mean the tongue is actually really thick?  That makes a mumbler right?  Or I think it could be a good definition for when I have trouble getting my words out.  I often say my brain works slower than my tongue.  Which gets me in so much trouble!  Do you think it would be better if I just say I suffer from pachyglossal?  People would pity me for suffering from some odd disease instead of hating me for being so blunt.

4.  Polkamania – Polka works for me.  Crazy?  Odd?  But before you judge me turn to RFDTV and watch the Big Joe Polka Show.  Awesomeness will abound!  Happy Music for Happy People!  It has a beat you can tap your foot to and joy to bring a smile to your cold cynical face.  We all talk about ‘a simpler time’.  Watching Big Joe is like enjoying a simpler time.  It reminds me of all the family weddings of my youth.  The women wore dresses or slacks.  The men swing their ladies around their beer bellies with reckless abandonment.  The kids prance around together pretending to be all grown-up.  Of course, in my youth we would occasionally be sneaking out to drink beer until one cousin starts to strip during YMCA and we all get in trouble…err…I mean….for example.

5. Pain – That is all I think about as I workout.  I try to think about wearing a smaller outfit or rubbing my hotness in the face of an ex but in reality I’m just praying I don’t die.

6. Persnickety – My husband says I’m persnickety about what I eat.  He has a slight point.  However, it is not my fault that cilantro tastes like soap.   Who would want to eat soap?

7.  Phobia – I have a phobia of snakes, farting during the quiet moments in church and the texture of mushrooms.

8.  Pediculophobia – I would have a healthy suspicion of anyone not in fear of lice.  Aha!  You just scratched your head thinking about the word lice, didn’t you?

9.  Plethora – One of my favorite P words.  Life should be a plethora of love, laughter and pop rocks.

10.  Prompt – Your turn.  Take your pick of the P words: your pain, your phobia, your pariah moment, etc.  I want to know!