First of all, Parenthood for Me is having a giveaway in celebration of 400 followers. Good ahead and hop over. I will wait right here.
Fran has been on to me to respond about the cyst. Honestly I haven’t made any comment with exciting new news because I am currently living in denial. Ok that is not completely true.
1. I have been doing mind-body mediation with Hildegard the Cyst Busting Fairy. Lately I’ve been joining her by flying down with her into my lungs. We step out of the lung door and start stalking towards my ovary. The wind blowing her blue curls around and ruffling her apron. I’m decked out in doc martins, leather and a bad a** pink mohawk. (cue a** kickin’ music) We are so working our butts off to take this cyst down. I’ve decided not to worry about the logistics of me being a mini me going down inside of myself. It’s magic people – go with it.
2. I went with my bf on my birthday last month to a naturalist/homeopathic type person. She just set across the table from me saying things while my bf wrote them down in a great notebook she had bought me. Basically she pointed out all these areas she felt had problems. She gave me a detailed list of things to do for the next 80 days. She said she can’t guarantee it but she feels that within 6 weeks of following this program the cyst would be gone. I’m on day 31 of the program and in cd 104. I know the cyst is there because I can still feel it hurting. Hubby and I made a deal. I would follow the program for 6 weeks and no matter what at that point I would go back to my doctor to see what is going on. If it is still there and/or has gotten larger I will let her make an appointment to take with the oncologist. I just feel like it is counterproductive to IF to have my ovary removed. I know you can get pregnant with one but what if something goes wrong with it too? Then it is definitely over. What do you think? Any of you with one ovary out there?
Here is the program and tell me what you think.
Day 1 – Spread 3 tbsp of hummus on my stomach and leave for 30 minutes. Hubby about busted a gut over this one. I did it. It didn’t feel that weird.
Day 5 – Start taking Chinese Herbs – Liver Balance TCM 5 times a day for 23 days.
Day 10 – Soak in a bath of bentonite for 40 minutes to detox. This has been my 2nd favorite so far. I was so relaxed afterwards I could barely crawl to the bed.
Day 12 – Start taking Syntol 2 times a day for 3 weeks
Day 20 – Eat 3 chocolate chips 5 times a day for 14 weeks!!!! This is my favorite so far. Chocolate every day are you freakin’ kidding me! Love it!
Day 30 – Start Probiotics Bifidophilus 8 pills for 3 days a week for 12 months.
Day 40 – Soak my left hand in a baggie of 7 cups of regular brewed coffee for 20 minutes. This is for a week from today. Looking forward to seeing how that feels. Of course, the coffee can be cooled.
Day 50 – Go further to the left about 3 spaces from where I currently lay in the gym to do my yoga. Apparently the electrical karma in the area I currently workout in is not good for me.
Day 60 – Eat 7 cups of ice cream within 22 hours. I’m allergic to ice cream but she said it would be ok. I might be sick for a couple of days.
Day 70 – Soak my left foot in 5 quarts of raw goat milk for 20 minutes.
Day 80 – Return to be retested.
I’ve been a bit lazy this weekend and did not cook anything so I’m feeling a little bad that I can’t really participate in Menu Monday. However, I love Aarti (currently on Next Food Network Star) and I saw a recipe on her blog for quinoa. I love quinoa. So here is a link to her blog, aartipaarti, with the recipe. She is so freakin cute. Feel free to hop over to Marlaz’s blog via the button below and check out some recipes.
As I was reviewing the telesummit one of the aspects that intrigued me was the Circle + Bloom mind-body guided meditation. She had mentioned guiding yourself visually in your mind through your body and dealing with any problem areas. Such as pretending your shooting your troublesome cyst with a tommy gun or uzi until it is gone. She didn’t give that example but it is one that makes me smile. So I thought I would try it that night as I laid down to sleep. I didn’t use the Circle + Bloom cds which probably would have helped but went for an adventure all on my own.
I imagined a tiny little fairy warrior was coming to my rescue. I decided she would enter my body through my nose on the wind I breathed in but after I breathed her in and she flew down the wind pipe to my lungs I realized she was trapped. How do I get her out of my lungs and over to my ovary? I thought for a moment maybe she could camp there for the night while I tried to figure out a solution but thought the campfire with all it’s smoke wouldn’t be great for my lungs so I made a door in the side of my lung she could use to exit. Worried I might have hurt my lung I made it one of those security type doors where you enter then the chamber pressurizes then you exit out another door. Whew! My lungs are safe now I had to get her over to my ovary. I really have no idea what my insides look like but I have heard that the intestine is really long and winds around in your body so I had her commandeer a flying broom and had her whizzing around like Potter. I just realized that I had forgotten she had wings because she flew in on the wind but the broom was much more exciting don’t ya think? She flew up and around and over all my intestines and organs (all very exciting with the wind blowing through her hair) until she arrived at my right ovary. There was the offending cyst pulsating angrily in red on my ovary. Now how do I have her deal with my cyst? I considered her throwing a dart or shooting an arrow ala Lord of the Rings but finally decided on her taking out a small needle walking up all brave to the cyst and popping it like a balloon. There was the pop (I felt a sharp twinge in my right ovary at the same time oddly enough) and stuff started flowing out. That is when I panicked. Damn! I didn’t think about this happening. I quickly tried to come up with some solutions. I considered a contraption similar to how they were trying to stop the oil spill so that way I could funnel it off to a tanker sitting outside my body but that would require making another opening in my body. Instead I had her cover it with a small contraption that filled up in the spirit of catching leaves on the back of a mower. She then was able to fly back to the door in my lungs and consequently fly out of my nose with the offending cyst juice. Whew! I don’t know about relaxing because honestly afterward I was plain exhausted and just fell asleep.
I greeted Hildegard as she entered my nose. “Hello, Hildegard!”
“Hello, deary.” She replied in her British accent. If we learned anything from Shakespeare we all learned that fairies speak with a British accent.
Hilde flew down to the door in my lungs. She entered the hallway and gathered her equipment. She clocked in here. I decided that the time clock would be in the lung door hallway. Hilde feels it should be in my nose but I consider the trip down as part of her commute. I may have a strike on my hands. She grabbed her broom and flew out towards my ovary. I figure she flies on the broom inside me because she has to carry some equipment. She arrived at my ovary, pulled out her little needle and poked Cecil. The contraption she uses to suck up any of Cecil’s juices is kind of like one of those leaf blowers you can wear only it sucks in instead of blowing out. Afterward I suggested a little neosporin on the wound. I said a little cuddle and hug so the ovary was feeling some love would be helpful as well. She flew back to the door, clocked out and hung up her small frilly apron. As she left my nose I said, “Goodbye Hilde!” “Good night, deary.”
Yeah, I’m on number three. The saga continues. I greeted her as usual and she flew down to the door. Honestly I was a bit more distracted this evening. As she got into the hallway and started to put on her apron my mind begin to wander to other thoughts. When I remembered that I had left Hilde sitting in the hallway I found her sitting at a table smoking a cig and reading Cosmo. This bothered me but I realized she was in my mind and I could make her quit if I wanted. She now has nicotine gum. Hilde clocked in and flew over to the cyst. Cecil appeared smaller to me. She went through the usual routine giving my ovary a gentle massage before returning to the hallway. As she flew out we passed our usual goodbyes.
We shall see how this works out with the next sonogram. I would hate to have to let Hildegard go in this economy. It can’t be easy for a cyst busting fairy to make a living.
FYI I still had a few minutes left in Thursday when I posted this.
I just want to say that YES! I do feel the bloggy love. Thank you all for being so awesome! All the comments and even some private emails were all so awesome. I love you bleeps!! Sorry if I worried you. I think a part of me knows that it will get better it’s just the other side of me is holding it hostage during a fit of rage. I am still checking out your blogs. I just seem to be at a loss for words lately so sorry I haven’t been commenting. I’ll get there. I promise.
Tomorrow I’m heading to the place that heals me the most – the farm. I am a KS farm girl through and through. I’m looking forward to a great weekend with three of my aunts. My mom’s sisters are the closest thing I have to my mom and I enjoy our time together. It helps that they are actually closer to me in age than they were my mom since she was the oldest. Two aunts(one is a twin & the other my Godmother) live on one side of the dirt road and the other twin and her husband live on the other side of the dirt road. Well, the one with the husband just had a new house built behind the old one so I get to spend my weekend moving her. Is it ironic that I rush to the farm every so often where my aunts usually have a long to do list for me and yet I find it peaceful and relaxing? A couple of years ago we built a fence. I mean we actually used a chainsaw to cut trees as the posts and everything. No Ho.me De.pot or Lo.wes were involved. I come from a long line of very resourceful powerful women. We all still love to sit around and admire our fence. The only problem is that they all smoke and I usually return home very sick for a couple days. However, I think the sense of peace I get will out weigh the negative smoke factor.
For Operation Kill Cecil
I have worked out a minimum of two hours every day this week. Cecil can be really painful during my workouts especially right after any ab work. But each day he hurts a little less so I’m hoping that works, too. I starting the Cecil Killing Concoction (Thanks Mel. for the name.) Monday. I will talk about it next week. I’ve only gotten in one yoga class but I’m hoping to make it tomorrow before heading out of town. I still need to find my heating pad so I can do the castor oil packs again. I haven’t watched very many movies yet.(Actually I got in From Du.sk to Dawn this afternoon.) Just an old John Wayne film and an old Tyrone Powers. Yes, it was black and white film weekend at the Junebug nest. I like old movies because they are simple. They don’t try to shock you or dig into deep subjects. Plus, they usually all end nicely with the exception of the one John Wayne film where everyone dies in the end. My mom loved JW and I have seen probably most of his work. Hubby likes him too. I do love westerns but my favorites are Jeremiah Johnson and Across the Great Divide(I doubt anyone out there remembers this film). I think I will see if they are on netflix.
Today was a better day thanks to several of my bleeps. I don’t know what I would do without you.