Eavesdropping on Myself

I am showing you my senior yearbook cover and the conversation it invoked this week.    

The Cover – minus my engraved name

Last week one of the kids in my cousin T’s class murdered his wife.  (I will be discussing this tomorrow.)  He was a freshman when I was a senior so I had out my senior yearbook and my cousin K and I were checking it out.  She was a junior that year.  (All of my first cousins on my dad’s side went to the same small school K-12 in one building in the middle of a cow pasture.)    When I came home later this is what I heard.

Hubby:  “Whose yearbook is that?”
Me: “Mine.  Hence my name engraved on the front cover.”
Hubby: “What is wrong with you people?”
Me: “Huh?”
Hubby:  “There are people with spears and a dead person lying on the ground and blood.”
Me: “We were the Trojans.” 
Hubby:  “It looks like Napoleon Dynamite drew it.”
Me:  “What!  Dwayne drew it.”
Hubby:  “What is wrong with him?  You people are crazy.  Dead bodies and blood on a high school yearbook.”

The back – hubby was freaked by the hunter in the trees.

Me:  “OK.  Now wait a minute.  I happen to be the co-editor of that yearbook.  Most of my senior year was spent working on that book.  I put my heart and soul into that book.”
Hubby:  “What is wrong with you?”
Me:  “What is wrong with you?  We were the T.R.O.J.A.N.S!!!  They didn’t go around rescuing kittens out of trees.  They were warriors.”
Hubby:  “I still think it is screwed up.”
For the record I don’t see any blood.  

The next morning I was telling my cousin K what he had to say.  She was on yearbook staff with me. 
Me:  “I told him we were Trojans.”
K:  “Yeah, we didn’t know whether to make love or war.”
Me:  “True.  So true.”
To say that our mascot has been the brunt of many jokes is an understatement. 
Everyone give K a shout out.  She is super excited to be included in an Eavesdropping. 

The Fertility Focus Telesummit Part Two

Dr Marilyn Glenville – Using Nutrition To Boost Fertility And
Prevent Miscarriage
My Notes:  Dr. Glenville discussed nutrition and the body.  I liked that she said, “We can’t change the quantity of eggs but we can change the quality of eggs.”  That was nice to know.  She did discuss several options of vitamins and herbs but I don’t want to list them here.  One thing she said that was important was to be tested for what areas you may be deficient so instead I want to mention where to find more information about being tested and then you can pick your vitamins and herbs.  By going to Natural Health Practice, you can find more information about supplements and many of the tests can even be done by mail (or post if I want to sound more European).  Dr. Glenville discussed how many factors can affect our fertility such as weight, smoking, even our jobs (such as a man sitting for too long could cook the boys).  She provides a free e-book, Foundation of Health, on her website at MarilynGlenville.com

Joanne Verkuilen – How Mind/Body Medicine Can Help With
Fertility Issues And General Health And Well-Being
My Notes: Joanne is the founder and co-CEO of Circle + Bloom. I must admit that this is an area of weakness of mine and I have been lurking near her website for months so it was great to learn more.  The point is to employ your mind to aid in your fertility by focusing on emotional and visualization aspects of the mind-body connection.  Wow that last sentence sounded pretty technical.  :-)  Basically you are using guided meditation to help you visualize internal changes within your body.  For example, Joanne referenced a young boy with a tumor daily imagining he was shooting at his tumor and later a second scan discovered it was gone.  For those (like my hubby) who need more science, she mentioned a book called, Molecules of Emotion, which discusses how our emotions leave imprints on our molecules.  Circle + Bloom helps to change your negative thought patterns, gain control over your stress/emotions, visualize changes within your body and help you relax(an IFer’s favorite word – I kid, I kid put your darts down).  There is a free download to try on the Circle + Bloom website.  In addition, they have a newsletter and a blog which she mentioned they are beginning to make some changes to so look forward to some excitement on their blog in the future.  Lastly, Joanne feels that a mere ten minutes a day with this technique can be extremely helpful.  I tried some last night and I will be writing a post on it later. 

Pamela Madsen – The Fertility Evaluation: Why Every Women Needs
To Have One
My Notes: Pamela believes that starting at 27 women should be doing the baselines for their fertility.  This way it can keep being checked and if a woman sees any main differences she can focus on her fertility.  This does make sense.    For more information on what tests check her blog, The Fertility Advocate.  If you search for the post on fertility evaluations it lists the tests she recommends.  In addition, if you are on the east coast she recommends checking out East Coast Fertility.  It is possible to get a free consultation with them via their website.  I have to admit this one was a little harder for me to make it through because of my own sensitivities.  However, I do agree with her mission that all women should be talking about their infertility much sooner in life.   

Hit by a Mean Bug

I got taken down and fast. It was crazy. On Thursday I ran for 15 minutes no problem and then finished the rest of my workout but on Friday I could barely run 10 minutes and then walked for 5 before I could run the last five. I left after 30 minutes. Within 4 minutes I started coughing and having trouble breathing. Of course, I drove straight to *bucks because I knew the coffee had a stimulant to help calm my lungs. Let’s face it the crack they sale at *bucks will solve anything. I ran to the store and got cough drops and two other things but none of the three items I went there to get in the first place. I hate that. At work the pain in my chest got worst so that every breathe hurt me. I got up early Saturday morning and went to the doctor. After x-rays, ekg and vitals were taken it was determined that I have a virus. I was given an inhaler to help ease my chest pain so I could breathe and sent me home. I was a little disturbed by that especially since no blood was drawn or anything. However, my lungs were free and my heart was good. I took a nap and then went to work. I made it two hours before begging the nice manager to let me go home. I got home and in bed by 11:30 p.m. and slept. My hubby woke me up about 12:30 p.m. the next day. I slept about 13 hours!!! When I got up I had no more chest pain. Thank God!! I still don’t have full lung capacity but at least the pain is gone. It happened so fast my head is still spinning which could account for my faintness. I don’t move real fast but that is ok since I need to study for my test tomorrow anyway. I hope everyone out there stays healthy.

Friday Musings

Ok. Week was good and bad.

It was the two year anniversary of my sister’s death. I’m less angry with her this year then I was last year. I’m sadder so I guess I’m working my way thru the grief process.

I met with the IF dr. and have a new appt for a week from Monday with the RE Center. Yes, another dr. Hubby needs tested again. He is so happy about it. I may have to do the test where they shoot the dye in to check everything out. We shall see what the appt. brings. Right now I have more tears then hope but it is what it is.

I am struggling at work now that I have just over a week left. It is that situation where the closer it gets the slower time gets. I should use all that extra time to clean.

What I don’t get: Yesterday I ran for 15 minutes and had no problem. Today I could barely do 10 minutes and it started an asthma attack. I didn’t have my inhaler with me since I haven’t used it in a year. So I ran to *bucks for a coffee to help. Then I went to the store and bought everything except for the three things I went there for. I blame it on my inability to breathe.

What a difference a year makes. Last year I was training for a 5k but hurt my back and ended up unable to workout at all. Since then I’ve lost 60 pounds and it is so much easier to run. I’m officially lighter then my hubby. He still can’t carry me over a puddle of water (we tried – it wasn’t pretty) but we are still working on it. I will post a pic of it if it every happens.

My big break

Awhile back I told you I filmed a video with some friends from college. My friend Heather is in love with l.ev.el 42 a UK band. She is trying to get them to tour North America. They currently only tour Europe. So she started doing these series of videos to convince them to come over. This is part 4. If you want to completely understand what is happening you should watch Part 1 first but you can still see the humor in part 4 if you don’t. It is funny but there are a few things that only a true levelhead would get. I am not a levelhead so I don’t know much myself. Enjoy. Oh, so far the only comment I have heard is that I remind them of Wil.liam Sha.tner.


Good: Ran for 15 minutes going just over a mile all at once today.
Bad: Still can’t get past my mental block to finish paper for class.
Ugly: Appt. with new fertility dr. Nutshell quotes. “Your chances aren’t great. Since your past 35. Need to be ready to have miscarriages. But we’ll try our best.” I, of course, ran into a friend as I was trying not to cry in the elevator. That is the problem with living in KS. You can go NOWHERE without running into someone you know. Anyway, I consoled myself with a Pumpkin Spice Latte – soy usually I say no whip cream but today called for a whip cream moment.

In case you had been wondering if I received a reply from my Aunt on my email about being unable to do holidays – I have not. I’m not mad. 1. She is not a big email person anyway. 2. She may not know what to say. I respect that. I find that much easier to deal with then people who say too much and are insulting. 3. It’s not about her. It is about me being honest and dealing with my own feelings.

My untrained eye thinks Othello’s ear growth/tumor is shrinking. It may be wishful thinking but I’m ok with whatever will keep me sane until we go back to the vet and find out for sure.

The other day my husband turned to me and said, “You know, I think when you can eat real food again that we should celebrate by going bowling.” Ahhh, ok? We have never gone bowling in all the 20 years we have known each other. Not once. I have never mentioned a desire to go bowling. My husband is an engineer. He is not a big social butterfly. I was a little bit taken back. I said, “Ok. That could be fun. Maybe we can get A, B or C, D to go with us.” Hubby, “Uh? Yeah, ok. I guess so.” Apparently my hubby just wants to go bowling with me. Odd. I spent many years in a bowling alley. My mom was a big bowler and was always in a league. I was usually the score keeper back before the computer did it for you. Bowling alleys make me think of my mom, nachos and war. You heard me right, war.
Once in college this group of couples I hung with had planned on going bowling one night. My boyfriend called me that afternoon.
BF: “Hey did you here?”
Me: “About bowling? Yeah, sounds like fun.”
BF: “Uh. No. We just declared war.”
Oh. Yep. It was the day we started De.se.rt Storm. My two aunts were serving at the time so I was not into the stress of all that. However, we went bowling. At one point I went to throw the ball but as I went drew my arm back I dropped the ball and it rolled back towards the seats. Everyone was like “You need to throw it the other direction.” When I tried it again I looked back and everyone had huddled together behind the score desk. Such good friends.
Come to think of it, bowling has lots of traumatic memories for me. Perhaps I can talk him into pool or shuffleboard or darts.

Musings – Giveaways & Extra

What fun yesterday! Sure just a few responses but I learned some new things and that is always cool. So far our theory may be at about 50% accurate.

Giveaway Coolness. I have started some sort of need to enter giveaways this week. I can’t keep up with all of them but here are a few cool ones.

Fantabulously Frugal is doing an awesome giveaway of several sets. The first one is worth like $675. I almost hate to tell anyone else but I get more entries if I blog about it and if you tell her who sent you then we both get extra entries. I would tell you all the neat items but I think you should head right on over and check it out. Stay awhile and see her nifty blog.

I learned about the previous giveaway from The Giveaway Diva. She is doing a giveaway with a piece of jewelry from the Fantasy Jewelry Box.
The pieces are so cool. They do affordable versions of jewelry often worn by celebrities and they look hot. Check out both sites. You will thank me later.

The other giveaway at The Giveaway Diva that I love is this one featuring the work of Trudie Davies. This is Trudie’s Etsy shop. I love the large personalized pendant. (In case you were wondering what I might like for x-mas.) It can have any saying or poem stamped on it. So Freakin’ awesome!

Ok. On the personal side of things.
Made appt. with new infertility dr. for Thursday.
I still have 8 more days to work for the pony express.
I am failing my class this semester. I am working my butt off. I went to her three times last week between classes, studied, practiced and still got a D on my test. Something is not right. Over half of the class is failing which makes me feel a little less stupid but as a teacher can’t she see something is fundamentally wrong. I have to write a paper tonight, study for one more quiz and then take the (luckily take home) final. If it wasn’t take home I would for sure fail but we are getting together as a group and my friend is getting an A. (He doesn’t know how.) But hopefully between the paper and final I can pull my grade up to a C. However, I’m still pissed because I am working my tail off! I hate that it will screw up my GPA! If I wasn’t working I could understand but this is ridiculous. If over 50% of your class is failing then you aren’t doing your job as a teacher. IMHO

Topic Tuesday Musings

I’m going to test drive a new idea. Having a fun topic to discuss on Tuesdays. Not necessarily a ultra serious discussion. Maybe more of a I always kind of wondered thing. I’m nervous about it because I want to keep it light-hearted, open minded and respectful.
I took this quiz the other day. I found it really funny. Why I found it so funny:
A. My religion came in 7th. I apparently only believe in 75% of my religion.
B. My bf who is 7th Day will love that I am actually 6% more 7th Day then my own religion and they didn’t even have a vegetarian type question.
C. I lean 100% Qu.aker. Is it because I love oatmeal? I kid. I have to admit I have always had an infinity for Qua.ker stories(Daisy Newman’s books) and quotes. I’m just not sure I could rock the outfits. I could definitely survive living simply because that is something I work towards. However, I tend to have issues with being put in certain roles. I might be a bit of a boat rocker. Of course, the quiz took that into consideration and I am still 2% more liberal Quak.er then my own religion.

My bf and I have had discussions on this topic before as far as what religion we chose. We both agreed that the religion we are raised in has a string of sentimental value attached to it. If our family has traditions and such around one religion we are more likely to stick with it. We, also, felt that it gives a certain comfort level. You know what to expect in your church where as another church can be rather scary to test drive. I tried out several other churches but ended up right back where I began. How about you? Did you stick with what you were raised with?(whether it was the same religion or no particular religion – just basically how you were raised.) If you changed was it a change in belief or something you found through a friend or spouse? This is more of a general interest (I would like to see how our theory holds up) then a huge theological debate.

Here is a partial list of my results.
1. Orth.odox Qu.aker (100%)
2. Mainline to Lib.eral Chris.tian Pro.testants (93%)
3. Seven.th Day Adv.entist (81%)
4. Mainl.ine to Conservative Chri.stian/Pro.testant (79%)
5. Li.beral Qua.kers (77%)
6. Easte.rn Orth.odox (75%)
7. Roma.n Cat.holic (75%)
9. Orth.odox Juda.ism (72%)
10. Unitari.an Universalism (67%)
11. Is.lam (66%)
12. Reform Jud.aism (62%)
16. New Age (44%)
17. Church of Jesus Christ of Lat.ter-Day Saints (Mormons) (42%)
18. Jeh.ovah’s Witness (42%)
19. Christ.ian Science (Church of Ch.rist, Scientist) (40%)
20. Mahayana Budd.hism (40%)
25. Scien.tology (31%)

Monday Musings

I’m back. I didn’t actually go anywhere but to work and to walk the dogs but stayed true to the staycation ideal and basically didn’t get anything done on my list. Yeah! Of course that puts me a week behind schedule and since we fly out two weeks from Thursday to spend the rest of the year in sunny Cali I better kick it in gear.

I considered going out Friday morning for what I call the shopping spree from hades. However by the time 4 AM rolled around I had talked myself out of anything I thought I needed and went to bed. Hubby raced to Ra.dio Sh.a.ck for some electronic doohickey. Is it odd that the man participated in the ritual and the woman slept?

It was the weekend for BF’s though. I am so lucky to have such awesome friends that I adore.
QP – I have decided on what to buy for the baby but I can’t say anything because she reads this. You are so going to love it!!!
T – T and I work together. It is the only thing that makes it bearable. After a discussion on heartworm in dogs I did some research for her. Turns out heartworm is gotten from mosquitoes which raises the question: Do mosquitoes carry anything good? I would like to be given a virus that causes me to poop gold nuggets. Really small gold nuggets though because dang that would so hurt.
B – I was sent on a quest to obtain a rowing machine she found on Cr.aigs list. Which I did because now she is obligated to come down and see me. Yeah! We have a whole day planned of shopping(found a new thrift store in the the rich part of town that I am dying to check out), coffee, shopping, lunch and I am even dragging her to the gym with me so I don’t miss my daily workout(she is a little less excited about this part).

I loved doing ICLW this past week. I tried to get to lots of blogs but the list was around 170 or something crazy. I did my best. I’m sure I missed some great blogs. I’m not doing Dec. simply because I still can’t decide if I will take my laptop or go on a media vacation again. Hubby is voting for the media blackout and lots of books by the pool. I’m leaning that way myself. I still haven’t gotten to the newest Di.ana Ga.baldon yet! Crazy I know!

The sad news. We went to the vet last week for the dogs to get their rabies and kennel cough before staying at Gr.andpaws(coolest kennel name ever!) for x-mas. $250 later! Ouch! Saphron has a sore (probably ingrown hair that she kept messing with) and a small gunky ear problem. However, my precious darling love of my life, Othello has a growth in his ear that the vet said, “I don’t like the looks of that.” Personally I don’t like the sound of that previous statement. It could be an irritation because Saph likes to hold him down and lick his ears daily. If the medicine doesn’t help it by the end of three weeks then it will have to be removed. I am not thinking about it. I am being positive and I am determined to hear a good prognosis when we return to the vet two days before we leave on vacation. I’m not going to cry, yet. I’m not going to freak out, yet. I hope.

Did some online shopping this week. Hubs wanted the Lo.rd of the R.ings trilogy. I think he plans on reading it by the pool. I got a swimsuit cover up for the trip, a book for a class next semester and another book hubs wanted on his A.ma.zon wishlist. We love our A wishlists. We like to by our items used and how can you beat some books at .1 + shipping. We’ve never had a problem. The only other things he wants is for his cowboy boots to be resoled and another bottle of expensive Scotch. We have tried to be practical the past few years and just get a few items that we really want or need. Honestly I can’t decide what I want for x-mas. I don’t really need anything and I think I would rather be debt free then have him spend any money on me. So my usually i.t.unes gift card should suffice. I spent the rest of my last one buying everything Pao.lo Nu.tini has ever done.

I am making plans for doing some changes on my blog after the first of the year. I’ll be test driving an idea tomorrow. I gave my two weeks notice this weekend so I won’t be working. We figured since we are starting TTC in January I need to be as unstressed as possible so no work. I’ll be calling my dr. this week to make the first appt. on our way to starting this round of TTC with a new dr.

Writing Prompts

FYI for those not “in the know” MammaKat does this thing weekly. She gives out prompts. We write about one or all. Everyone goes around spreading comment love. If you are interested go here. The Prompts:
1.) An ER moment.
2.) Describe how your audition for a trashy reality show would go.
3.) Before all hell breaks loose Peeta and Katniss are able to picnic on the roof together…they know that when they leave one or both will likely die. Peeta looks at Katniss and says, “I wish I could freeze this moment, right here, right now, and live in it forever.” Describe your moment.
4.) Write a story in exactly 101 words. (winner gets a 25 dollar gift card!)
5.) Okay okay fine…tomorrow is Thanksgiving and it wouldn’t be right if I didn’t have a Thanksgiving themed prompt. Write a POEM about something you are grateful for.

This week I went for broke and did them all..err…Ok I gave up on #5. I am proud of #4.

1. In college we were hanging out late in the sorority house after a party. I was sitting on the back of the couch which was kind of position in the middle of the room. I laughed about something – one of those really big laughs where you lean back. I leaned too far and fell right off the back of the sofa only my hand stayed on the sofa a little longer. My arm began to swell and it hurt like heck. We all finally agreed that I would have to go to the hospital. So that is how I ended up at the hospital at 2 a.m. having this conversation about how I tore the ligaments in my right arm.
Nurse: So what happened?
Me: I fell of the couch.
Nurse: Excuse me?
Me: I fell of the couch but my arm stayed up there.

2. This one I can kind of cheat on because I already auditioned for a reality show and blogged about it. It wasn’t trashy though. It was for the Mole and story can be seen here and see pictures here.

3. This one confused me. Am I supposed to write about P and K’s moment like I was there or am I supposed to write about my own moment? I’m going with my own. The moment I step into whenever I feel disconnected or stressed is from my time on the In.di.an reservation. One night my three best friends and I were out driving around on the dirt roads. That is what you do for fun in the country when you are in your twenties. You drive around drinking or everyone meets in a pasture and drinks around a big bonfire except in the winter when there is a cabin we would meet in sometimes. We stopped out on this hill to mix some drinks. As we started to drink we all got quiet and look around us in awe. It was so beautiful. We were surrounded by thousands of blinking lights. It started with a layer of fireflies and then moved to the huge sky full of thousands of stars. You couldn’t tell where the fireflies ended and the stars began. My friend said, “This is a moment we will never forget.” He was right. I felt so safe with my friends and so comforted by this blanket of twinkling lights that I could have stayed on the hill forever. Some days I feel like a part of me stayed there because I can tap into that moment so vividly.

4. I have to admit that I think I did pretty well on my 100 word story. I ended it with a bit of a Che.kov feeling. He liked for the readers to come to their own conclusions.

Tom looked around him. All he saw was a little blue jay sitting on a limb of a nearby oak tree. “Odd.” He thought, “I swear I heard something.” “Every year it’s the same damn thing!” he grumbled as he continued on. “I get jumpy and skittish waiting for this to be over with.” He shuffled along looking around and seeing ghosts of old friends around every corner. “I’m getting too old for this sh*t.” CRACKLE. Tom jumped. He slowly turned his head. His eyes filled with fear. “Damn! Why did I have to be born on a turkey farm?”